Now, Lindsay. Come on.

She must know better than this, right?

I quote: "If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it's really not that interesting—then I could land a great role, but all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting," she complains to E! News.

Now, Linds (may I?), this is where my Southern mama would slap your face and tell you to take some responsibility for yourself. (Disclaimer: My Southern mama has, in actuality, never slapped my face. But I'm sure she's wanted to. I have a sassy mouth.)

In fact, I'd venture to say that folks are fascinated with your personal life because it is such a train wreck. Has been for quite some time. And, you know what, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

I love how celebrities can just go totally psycho, go to "rehab," and then demand that people stop focusing on The Crazy. Now, as someone who has had much experience with The Crazy, La Lohan needs to realize that, just as The Crazy slowly takes over, it slowly leaves too. And you have to prove to people that it's gone. And not by publicly lambasting other people for your disaster of a life.

You, little sister, aren't helping your case.

And while we're at it, can we get that good red color back in the hair and also? Less gray in your skin. Ew. Personally (because I have a whole mess of them in the summer) I like the freckles.

Lohan continues: "I just want to live the dream that I've worked so hard for since I was 4 years old…I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies…"

We're about three coke-snorting trips to the Chateau Marmont bathroom stalls past just wanting to live the dream.

"It would be really nice if people would believe in me. I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie," adds Lohan, who's been to rehab three times.

Really? Well this is Stephanie, who's been to rehab ZERO times, and I do NOT believe you. Because we tried that. Twice before. And because you've been to rehab three times.

And then, then I got to the end of another article about LL today, and I was reminded, with great sadness, that she is 22 years old. And, bonus!, her mama is crazy.