Talking to the Voices

Yesterday as I was doing self-checkout at Whole Foods, an oldish lady stepped up to the checkout beside me. When the computer said, "Welcome," or whatever, she talked backed to it. She kind of looked around, grinned, and shrugged her shoulders, so I thought she was just being funny.

But she kept doing it. So, yeah, I think she was funny. And by funny, I mean not in her right mind. [Insert maniacal laugh here.]

When the computer asked, "Do you have coupons?" She replied, "No, not today."

Hand to God, y'all, I had to speed-scan my four bottles of Izze, goat cheese, and crackers and stuff it all right quick into my reusable grocery bag. (Duh, I'm all Green now. The Magazine did it to me.) Because I had to get the heck away from this nut lest I pee my pants right there by the organic blueberries. I truly don't think she knew for sure that the voice wasn't real. Bless her heart.