Friday, September 5, 2008

Oh Sweet Lord

My friend Amy forwarded this message from her friend, who is enrolled in a 3-month membership with eHarmony. The friend received this message and then passed it along, word for word, to Amy. Notice the message was sent from "Cole," but the sendee identifies himself as "George."

Please enjoy. This is my weekend gift to y'all, grammar and spelling mistakes and all.

Sender: Cole
Subject: Hello
Date: 09/03/2008 09:48AM PDT

Message: Hi, I'm George I came across your profile while looking at my matches, and saw your profile so attractive and decided to message you. You are so pretty that I believe God spent extra time creating you and if I were to present your picture in heaven, all the angels would hide their faces in shame. (HOLY COW THIS MAN JUST RIPPED OFF NSYNC.)

I'm a gentle hearted man, Love is not about body stature, but it's all about what is in the heart. What I care about is you're beautiful and I wish to be the man you've always wanted and I'm sure you and I would work things nicely being together. I like holding hands walking together side by side and sharing love vows and I see you as a woman I would love to do that with and cuddle with that means if thing's work out for us. (YEAH—THIS ISN'T CREEPY AT ALL!)

When I have free time I like to dance (ballroom dancing and contra dancing—a type of informal folk dance), sing and play the guitar, love the movies, talking taking long walks on the beach. (NEVER TRUST A FOLK-DANCING MAN.)

Do you like to dance, or have any interest in learning? It is fun, great exercise, and can be very romantic. I like playing basketball At my leisure time, I like going to the gym and also like going to watch movies,swimming,watch sport. I've learnt to respect beauty very well that's why I respect you. I know that love has no distance, because what is meant to be will always find a way to be. So all that matters is for the two hearts to be together somewhere.

I've been Single for 8 years now and I wish to settle down now to find a real Love. I have a son who is 17 years Old, I'm proud to be his father.I'm a Supervisor of a Large Construction Company, I do Commercial and Residential Construction.My son live with me. I wish to relocate to find my missing Rib. (WHAT????)

Can you please reply me at my email so we could get to chat and make this conversation serious and see where it takes us?
I will prefer you write me back via my email address because my subscription on eHarmony will expire soon. DELETED (BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO MESSAGE COLE, ER, GEORGE). You can add me on your yahoo messenger IM If you have one, mine is, DELETED.

If you don't have one it's free you can download it.feel free to ask me anything you want to know about me.take care hope to hear from you.

God Bless You.
George

If you think you might be George's missing rib, let me know, and I'll happily pass along his info. I'd hate to stand in the way of true love.

9 comments:

Bowlby said...

So...when are they going out?

Andy said...

Stephanie, God spent extra time creating you. I have a car, a Nissan Moreno, that's 10 years old, and, it wanted me to tell you - Spurrier got cock-blocked last night!!

Mom said...

OMG....hope she cancelled her eHarmony subscription (or whatever it is called). If she can't cancel it, she should NEVER use it again and just be thankful for a lesson learned.

Andy said...

But, yes, that's a mess there on the eHarmony. God save Amy's friend.

Eric, Marilyn, and Elliott said...

What gal could resist that? And he'll be a much better contra dancer once he finds that missing rib. (I know, that's lame, but I just can't stop thinking about the missing rib line!)

stephinbham said...

ha ha, everyone. I mean, it's priceless, right?

Andy, you're a star. (See, I get my lines from The Killers, not NSync.) ha. Game was AWESOME yesterday. So worth it, even though I sweated off about 20 pounds!

lindsey said...

I heard that you need to add "have a college degree" to any online dating that happens around here....and if only you could add "are a normal person" to that list then maybe you could get somewhere...!! yikes! at least eharmony allows pre-screenings...

Andy said...

So you too saw Super-Shon's leap? Seriously, what is so tough about this schedule? South Carolina looks like a bucket of ugly, Alabama now looks like a bucket of ugly, as did Auburn, and Florida struggled immensely, as did Arizona State during the first half against the Cardinal; all the while, Tennessee bombed, and LSU will probably never play another game at home if they're not able to repair the drink holders. . .

Apparently, what we have to worry about is Vandy and Tech, right?

We'll get it done, 24/7.

stephinbham said...

Yes, he was running toward our seats when he hurdled that dude! So cool. I like your confidence, too, but I'm still nervous! But so totally excited. I can't wait to play Spurrier this weekend.