A Little—Okay, a Long—Rant

Conversation snippets between an annoying couple who happened to be sitting behind us at Saturday's game. This was obviously the dude's first UGA game (he's a Miami fan, immediate loss of points), and his wife was obnoxious. They were talking loud enough for others to overhear, in the hopes they'd get a few laughs. You know the kind. Only they weren't funny—at all. And the girl kept making fun of people as they passed by—outfits, hairstyles, etc. And lemme tell ya, she wasn't a 10 herself. I wouldn't pass judgment, but she brought it on herself. And she kept whacking me in the head with her shaker. I don't enjoy that.

After a time-out was called because of CMU's illegal substitution, the girl hollers out, "PENALTY. Delay of game. Central Michigan." I hate it when know-it-all girls (and guys) yell out the wrong calls.

After the dude returns with a couple bottles of water sans caps, he and the girl try to figure out why the concessions folks take off the bottle caps and throw them away. As the dude points out, "Yeah, I even asked for them and they wouldn't let me have them. I mean, I paid for two WHOLE bottles." Followed by oh-aren't-I-clever chuckle. They tossed around a few ideas including that perhaps they recycle the caps (What????) and maybe they use the caps to keep track of how many bottles they sell. Because that's easier than counting how many bottles you have before and after the game and then figuring out the difference. Yes.

Morons, they take off the caps to prevent crazy fans such as yourselves from throwing them at the players and other people. Duh. This is obviously y'alls first rodeo.

At one point, the girl points out Uga to the dude. She called his doghouse his "little covered thingy." The dude said something about Uga dancing, and the girl realizes he's confused Hairy Dawg (a person in costume) with Uga, the bulldog. But she thought this was the. funniest. thing. EVER. Note: It was not. That's a dumb mistake to make, and one you should be embarrassed about.

One of our players was run out of bounds around the 2 yard line. The girl screams, at the top of her lungs, "TOUCHDOWN!!!!" No. Not a TOUCHDOWN!!!! No refs threw up their arms to indicate such. No one else is cheering that. The players are getting into position again, not patting backs. No TOUCHDOWN!!!! That came about four seconds later.

And, finally, with about 30 seconds till halftime, the dude notices that the band (sitting just two sections over) is gone. "Hey," he says, "they must be gonna play or something." Yes, during half-time. The band's gonna play. Cause UGA is progressive like that.

Thank God they left early. Thank God again that they are not season ticket holders.