The Nightmare That is Wal-mart

I am not a Wally World hater. In fact, I love the place. I can get groceries, electronics, toiletries, crafts supplies, and light bulbs, all while having my oil changed and the tires rotated. Oh, and at a discount. Sorry, but I'm a big fan.

I was disappointed the other night, though, when I wheeled my buggy into an enormously long line. There were only about 10 lanes open. At 9:30 p.m. On the Friday before Christmas. If Sam were alive, he would've been ticked.

The lady in front of me was doing ALL of her Christmas shopping. I was mighty impressed that she did this for $313. But back to my story.

So the cashier was moving slower than a snail, and I was determined NOT to get frustrated, even as my orange sherbet was melting away. She was casually scanning groceries and bath mats, sloooowly bagging each item. Finally it was my turn. She greeted me, and I presumed we were about to get going. And then...

Y'all. She started refilling her plastic bag station. WHAT THE? She wasn't in any hurry either. It was totally like the movements when you put a DVD on "slow." Oh, friends, I about had a meltdown.

Let me also add that the lady in line behind me (and her two teenage daughters) were really pressing my buttons. First off, the mom was really pushing me. Like, she kept inching her cart right up on me. And she was standing way too close to me. When I moved up in line, her girls got all up in my grill, and they were leaning over the conveyor belt, getting gum, and like, lolling on my groceries. An elbow totally smashed my bread. And they were examining my purchases too. Butt out, nosy teens.

Here's the best part. When slow checkout lady finally finished, I reached for my debit card, and when I turned back to the swiper thing, the lady was RIGHT UP BEHIND ME. Like, if I put my hand on my hip, she'd have taken a hard jab to the gut. She was bending down reading something, so she said, and she had pushed her buggy all the way up alongside mine. I couldn't even get around my buggy to load the rest of my bags.

I don't know if you can picture this exactly as it happened, but let me tell you, I just about blew up on her. And for those of you in my family who know me well, you know I was twitching trying to control myself. I was all hot and bothered.

Thanks for letting me vent.