The Nightmare That is Wal-mart

I am not a Wally World hater. In fact, I love the place. I can get groceries, electronics, toiletries, crafts supplies, and light bulbs, all while having my oil changed and the tires rotated. Oh, and at a discount. Sorry, but I'm a big fan.

I was disappointed the other night, though, when I wheeled my buggy into an enormously long line. There were only about 10 lanes open. At 9:30 p.m. On the Friday before Christmas. If Sam were alive, he would've been ticked.

The lady in front of me was doing ALL of her Christmas shopping. I was mighty impressed that she did this for $313. But back to my story.

So the cashier was moving slower than a snail, and I was determined NOT to get frustrated, even as my orange sherbet was melting away. She was casually scanning groceries and bath mats, sloooowly bagging each item. Finally it was my turn. She greeted me, and I presumed we were about to get going. And then...

Y'all. She started refilling her plastic bag station. WHAT THE? She wasn't in any hurry either. It was totally like the movements when you put a DVD on "slow." Oh, friends, I about had a meltdown.

Let me also add that the lady in line behind me (and her two teenage daughters) were really pressing my buttons. First off, the mom was really pushing me. Like, she kept inching her cart right up on me. And she was standing way too close to me. When I moved up in line, her girls got all up in my grill, and they were leaning over the conveyor belt, getting gum, and like, lolling on my groceries. An elbow totally smashed my bread. And they were examining my purchases too. Butt out, nosy teens.

Here's the best part. When slow checkout lady finally finished, I reached for my debit card, and when I turned back to the swiper thing, the lady was RIGHT UP BEHIND ME. Like, if I put my hand on my hip, she'd have taken a hard jab to the gut. She was bending down reading something, so she said, and she had pushed her buggy all the way up alongside mine. I couldn't even get around my buggy to load the rest of my bags.

I don't know if you can picture this exactly as it happened, but let me tell you, I just about blew up on her. And for those of you in my family who know me well, you know I was twitching trying to control myself. I was all hot and bothered.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Family Chaos, The Good Kind

Tonight was crazy, but fun. We had lots of fam over for dinner. I'm so tired my eyes will barely stay open, but I took lots of pictures tonight and at our brunch yesterday, so I promise to post lots soon. Tomorrow and Tuesday will be so busy, but hopefully after that things will calm down!

Here's a funny little story. Tonight my 4-year-old cousin Caitlyn was teasing my brother, and I told her to ask where her Christmas present was. Zach told her it was in the mail. She prissed back into the kitchen and told us, "He said it's in the mail. It must be a gift card."

I'm sorry. That's funny.

Oh Bring Us a Figgy Pudding

And bring it right now!
Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer: I didn't come up with this idea. I copied it.

Ornament Swap Slideshow

Photographs: Katie Bowlby

Happy Birthday

We got the Bonafe at Cafe Bottega to celebrate Sean's birthday. We didn't have any left, it was so good! Some kind of banana-toffee-caramel dessert.

I kept making Sean pose for pictures that I took myself. I'm trying to use the camera!!

Wreath: Finished

It's not perfectly round, but that just adds to the character.

Worst. Christmas Song. Ever.

Snowflakes of Love, Toni Braxton.

Somebody should've told that girl no.

Only in Alabama

I can barely handle the angel wishes on one of our local radio stations. These people always tell such sad stories about people in need, and then Rob and Shannon give them Visa gift cards. Different stories get different amounts. The stories always make me cry while I'm driving down the road.

The other day, as I was drivin' and cryin', this lady was asking for help for a family. The dad had been out of work, then he got a job, but soon after that he was hospitalized and hadn't been able to go to work.

He was shot because he and his mama had a falling-out, and he went over to her house but she thought she was an intruder. So she shot him. With her shotgun. On the front porch.

I'm sorry, it's still sad, but this could only happen down South. Right?

PS: The man is okay, and Rob and Shannon gave the family $500 in gift cards. All is good. No word on whether or not mama and son mended their rift.

Bell Ringers

Yesterday I saw two of the most exuberant Salvation Army bell ringers ever. One guy outside Walmart was yelling, "MERRY Christmas! HAP-py NEW Year." He was talking really fast, sing-songing the whole way through. It was pretty funny. On the other end of the store another bell ringer was super enthusiastic as well. When I responded to his greeting with, "Fine, how are you," he gives me this: "Oh, I'm fantastic, just enjoying this wonderful, beautiful, magnificent day that our Lord Jesus has given to me."

Which is nice. But he couldn't get it out fast enough, and it just got awkward. I was in a hurry, and I had to stop and wait about five minutes for him to finish. He might consider removing one of the adjectives.

The bell ringer at Sam's was much more sedate. I think he was tired.

Burnin' Rubber

I got a tad scared last night. Well, more than a tad. Kind of like, omgImightwetmypants scared. So I was driving to meet Sean at Cantina last night, and I made a turn and was approaching a red light. There was a lot of activity on the street, people running out to their cars and such, which is unusual. Anyway, there was a line of cars waiting to turn left, so I went around them and pulled up to the light to go straight.

All the sudden the dude in the truck next to me started revving his engine, and smoke was everywhere. I didn't want to look at him, so I just prayed the light would turn green quickly. Next thing I know, he peels out and runs the light. Suddenly about four cars were revving and then they all ran the red light. Tires were squealing and everyone was fishtailing after the turn. I have no idea what was going on. But I didn't like it.

Update

I found the freakin' key last night. I dumped out my purse (again) because it was clearly time to purge. And stuck inside the flap of my Charlie Brown Christmas CD, there it was. Whew.

I checked everything very closely to make sure nothing was stolen. My Santa ornament was still on the tree. The little yellow taxi bank I have was empty, but then again, it always is.

Bad Morning

So. I took my house key off of my key ring this weekend so my mom could use it. All the copies of our key have disappeared. Anyway, I locked the door with my loose key yesterday, threw it into my purse (I thought), and went about my day. I didn't need my house key last night because Sean used his. This morning, when I got ready to leave (almost on time!), I couldn't find the key anywhere. I dumped out my purse contents. Nothing. I had to leave.

On my way to work, I called the leasing office to see if they could run over and lock the door. They could, however, they were having trouble cracking the code to open up the key vault. They were working on this problem and promised to lock the door when they got access to their keys.

If any of you would like to steal from us, today's the day.

Leave Your Poll Comments Here!

Per reader request, here's the forum for your poll comments, past and present.

Buckwheat

This is our dog, Buck, and my brother, Zach. I wasn't able to catch him in uniform this weekend, but this is pretty sweet. Buck is 14 years old and he's having trouble seeing, hearing, and with his thyroid. It's sad. He misses Zach since he moved out a few weeks ago, but Zach comes back to visit him often.

Photo Shoot

Here's a sample of what we shot at my parents' kitchen on Monday. It's the first time I've really created something for a shoot! I didn't do it all myself, but a lot of it!

Tiny Wreaths

My sister made fun of this house in our neighborhood in Georgia because these wreaths on the front of the house are so small. In her words, "Why bother?" ha ha.

Trying to Spend $45

I got a letter in the mail last week telling me I had a little more than $45 left in my Flex account. I can pay for doctor copays and prescriptions, but also over-the-counter stuff too. If you don't use all the money by the end of the year, you lose it. I thought I had spent all mine. Anyway, I loaded up at Target last night. I spent $30 on Tylenol daytime liquid, Alka-Seltzer Severe Cold Nighttime, Zicam tablets, and Zicam Nighttime. I'm either going to get better or pass out from all the meds.

Now, if I hadn't had that "free" $45, I would've bought the Target brand daytime/nighttime combo for $4.99 and called it a day.

Sniff, Cough

I'm home sick today. Nasty, rotten cold. It's bad. But Katie thought blogging would lift my spirits. I tried to post a few photos, but there is something wrong with Blogger, so I can't. I will tell you, though, that there is nothing like the chicken soup from Carrabba's to make you feel better. I lucked out yesterday because they actually had it. Usually it's Lentil and Sausage, but Sean called to tell me it was chicken. Next time you're sick, try it!

Little Bit More Christmas

Here are a few more decorating shots. I promise I'll get back to interesting stories one day.

A Few More Favorite Things

We have the amazing Gal Pal deodorant removers. These little pads work wonders on all that white stuff that gets on your clothes.

The Days Ago Digital Counters just stick on jars and bottles that you keep in the fridge after you open them (spaghetti sauce, salad dressing) Then you can easily tell what day you opened the item. Usually I just have to wait for the mold.

Both available at The Container Store.

These lappers are great trays that a lady from my hometown invented. The silicone pads stick on where your plate and cup go. You can tilt the trays up to a 45-degree angle, and dishes won't move. Way cool. www.lappergirl.com

And, just for fun, these cute candy cane glasses make a cool gift. They are festive and cute and would go perfectly with my red dishes from Pier 1. www.surlatable.com.

How is This Better?

I don't understand the marketing here. The new 2x Concentrated Gain is on the shelves, and the company says it takes half as much detergent to do a load of laundry. But the new bottle is half the size of the old one, the number of loads per bottle is the same, and the price is the same. So, it all evens out. What's the big deal?

Anyone? What am I missing?

Gimpy

I think I have one leg that's shorter than the other. Yesterday I had on a pair of long black pants and some heels. All day long, one pant leg kept getting stuck in the back of my shoe. It was so annoying. But it was just the one leg. I think it must be longer than the other, and therefore that pant leg is shorter. The other pant leg fell down below the shoe a little more, and it wasn't getting stuck. Then I started walking funny to stop it from happening, which only made things worse.

Maybe I can take this circus show on the road.

Warning: PG-13 Post

Y'all might not find this as funny as my sister, mom, and I did, but I'll tell you anyway. I'm already tearing up just thinking about this story. In Nashville after Thanksgiving we stopped at this little clothing store. It was kind of a bust, but we were checking it out anyway, being polite, when my mom walked past this here mannequin and knocked the purse off its shoulder. Well, you can see what happened. It just really cracked Laurie and I up. But the best part was that my mom turned around because we were giggling so hard, and at first she didn't get it. And we couldn't quit laughing long enough to tell her. So she finally notices and tells my sister and I we're being silly, only she can't stop laughing either. Then I, thinking of my blog readers, whip out my camera to capture this on film. And by then one of the employees totally noticed us and was craning her neck to check out the commotion. My face was flaming red and hotter than a furnace.

But, come on, guys. Wasn't it worth it? I bet you're laughing a little too.

Merry Christmas Indeed

Today my friend Leah's much-anticipated Christmas package arrived on my doorstep. Leah and her husband, Heinz, have been living in New York for the past year and a half, and she does much freelancing at various magazines. She gets to go to beauty sales where she always scores fantastic stuff. And then she sends it to her friends down South. Here's a photo of what I just got. Yes, by the way, my rule is that if a gift arrives in the mail, you do not have to wait till Christmas to open it. This was my "Happy December 1st" gift. Besides all the makeup and products, she sent two awesome handmade Christmas cards and homemade cookies. She's a phenom.

Thanks, Leah!!