Lord, this is a doozy. So earlier at work I had to make a stop at the restroom.
I bet I've really grabbed your attention now.
Anywho, I did what I needed to do, and only then did I notice that both toilet paper rolls were empty. Y'all, it was too late! There was no one in the bathroom with me. I sat there a few minutes, but no one came in. I mean, yeah, asking a stranger for TP is a tad awkward, but I'd rather have a red face than, oh, say, tinkle running down my legs.
Then I thought, "Oh, I'll text Katie." But, oh yeah, I don't bring my cell phone with me to the bathroom. And I couldn't very well shuffle to a different stall with my skirt and my striped undies scrunched down around my knees.
Want to guess what I did? Have mercy, this is probably TMI, but since I can't see your faces, I'll go on. I ripped one of the cardboard rolls off the rod.
Again. Cardboard.
And then I blotted. With the torn up roll. The empty roll. And then I went to a new stall for some, uh, back-up.
Gotta admit, this story is rough (pun, ha ha), but I feel I owe it to my blog faithful to share, no matter the humiliation I suffer.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Definitely Not Charmin
Posted by Stephanie at 10:04 PM
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8 comments:
Ingenious. I would have never thought of that.
Ingenious? Do you know how bad a paper cut hurts? And how a cardboard cut hurts worse? Think about that for a minute.
I'm glad you didn't have your phone. I know we're friends, but I have to draw the line. And that line is on this side of rescuing you from the bathroom.
You're like the MacGyver of the stalls! Truly, you have suffered more than your share of personal humiliation this week, yet you haven't crawled into a hole. I think it's time for a promotion or something really glorious to happen to you in a very public setting.
Wow. That's quite a story.
Ha! Wow! You should write to Charmin with that story. They should totally use that as a marketing tool. Maybe they could start making the rolls out of some more absorbent material!
See, I work in PR now...
I can honestly say this is the most thought I've ever given to your hooha and the delicate nature thereof. So thanks for that.
Smart girl! I've had to do that before, too....I hate it when it's too late. I actually read in a magazine somewhere that it's pretty much the only thing you can do short of shaking dry or taking more drastic measures.
Brooke, you've been taken to the other side! And, really, Katie, I'm hurt. I thought we were better friends than that. But don't worry. Marilyn said she would've helped me.
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