Interesting

I've lost my creative juices. No clever title. But. I'm watching the midday news, and the anchorwoman just announced that a man drove his car into the side of a house. She said, "The driver was not injured but he may be in trouble with the law. The car was stolen."

May?

What do you do with baby Jesus?

Does he stay in the Nativity during the entire holiday season, or do you only add him on December 25th?

Step Away From the Car!

It makes me giggle when car owners outfit their jalopies with high-tech alarm systems. Because, I mean, why? You know what I'm sayin'? Today I saw someone amble up to their 1980 not-souped-up Trans Am, click the car remote and disarm the alarm with a beep-beep, and climb in. It wasn't even red. And then I thought, "Duh. This dude has it all wrong. He should deactivate the alarm, park it on a shady street, and leave the doors unlocked." It's the perfect solution! Cash the insurance check, and head on down to CarMax for a used Accord.

Total side note: Remember, back in high school for me, when it was the thing to have that stupid car alarm that played through five rounds of sounds? And it wouldn't stop till it played all the way through? The emergency vehicle sound. The woo-woo, woo-woo sound. The wail. The blip, blip, blip, blip. And they were so sensitive. You couldn't brush past a car without setting off that thing. My boyfriend had one. On his turquoise truck. I thought it was tres cool.

High Rollin'

I think you've reached a certain tier of awesomeness when Bill Gates deems you worthy of his fortune. I bet he cheered for the Dawgs this season too.

See it here.

Bad Dreams, Scary Dreams, Ca-ra-zee Dreams

So. I've told y'all before that I take The Ambien on occasion to combat the copious amounts of coffee that I drink.

Well, that's not really why. I take The Ambien because sometimes The Crazy gets ahold of my brain and I can't sleep.

But blaming it on coffee sounds better and, well, less crazy.

The Ambien gives me weird dreams though, kind of like when you eat Chinese food too late at night. Examples from the other night.

1. I dreamed that I was complaining to someone that my roots were a little orange, and I was bummed because my hairstylist, Tavia, usually does such an awesome job. This person said, "Well, you can't ever be sure with her because you know she's on the coke." I mean, this was terrifying. It took me a long time to find someone to do my hair here, and I love Tavia! But I was all freaked out because she was a druggie, and in my dream I was way stressed out because I knew I had to leave her. I couldn't trust someone who snorted coke to do my hair!

2. My apologies, Amy, but I dreamed that you, Jacob, Kate, and your little infant baby came to spend the night with me for some reason. Only we all forgot the baby. She stayed in the car all night long, and no one realized it till we got ready to leave the next day, and you opened my car door and started screaming hysterically, "My baby! My baby!" And I was all, she's fine, really, cause it stayed pretty cool last night. (It was summertime.) Incidentally, the baby was fine.

3. I dreamed that one of my friends, who recently gave birth, was pregnant again.

Thank GOD I finally woke up. Tonight I just popped a couple of Simply Sleep.

Yeah, I'm Gonna Go There

I'm not going to go all political or super controversial on y'all, but yesterday I saw something that really bothered me. Bad.

Okay, so I probably am going to get a little controversial. I hope you'll still read the blog. I'm just giving my opinion.

It was a bumper sticker that said, "6 Billion Miracles Is Enough." Right next to a stork delivering a baby, lest you not get the message.

I am—unapologetically—pro-life. I do not believe abortion is a women's rights issue. Okay? I said it. I believe it's a moral issue, a baby issue, a human being issue. And that is my opinion. But. Even if you disagree with me—and I know I have friends and probably other readers who will—I think, perhaps, that we can all agree this bumper sticker was outrageous. It represents a flippant and disgusting attitude toward something that is so serious.

The underlying message, to me, that "6 billion" babies is enough is that it's okay to use abortion as a means of population control. We have enough children in this country, so knocking off a few won't hurt anything. And everything else aside, that is an incredibly weak—and crass—argument, no matter your stance on the issue. I just can't get past the sarcasm and casualness of it all.

And I'll go on ahead right now and go on record as saying that I don't care how many babies you want to have. I believe you should be able to have them. You want none? Fine. Just one or two? Cool. And if you, like me, would like enough to have your own soccer team, that is perfectly okay too. And, despite the fact that I spent 12 years traveling to my brother's soccer games, I'm not even sure how many children that would be *exactly*. But I'm okay with that, I just know I want a bunch. I actually had someone say to me once that, with the population growing at an "alarming" rate, that it was "irresponsible" of people to have more than one or two children. And as I researched this bumper sticker, I came across a message board where someone said that "in this day and time of global warming, having kids is one of the most selfish things a person can do." Excuse me? No.

So, that's my soapbox, my rant. I'm done. No need to have any kind of throwdown in the comments section. I know this is touchy. I know people have very. strong. feelings. about this. I just couldn't not say something. And I think my biggest problem of all is that in one breath people are demanding that their right to choose not be compromised, and in the next breath these same folks are trying to tell others how many babies they should be allowed to have. Sorry, doesn't work for me.

Enjoy a Laugh at My Expense

I'm not sure if I told y'all about my spill down some stairs at a local restaurant back in October. It was after a celebratory dinner in honor of my brother's graduation. Anyway, if you work with me, you know about it, because we had to work the Saturday after this happened on Friday night, and I hobbled in to work with various bruises decorating my legs and feet.

See? Funny.

Also I said a little tiny cuss word when I fell. It just came out. And my mama gave me a pass. Probably because she thought I was dead anyway.

But dead I was not. I was wounded, though, boy was I wounded. It took my brother and my dad to lift my limp self up off the ground. Course that coulda been the steak and potato with extra sour cream I'd just eaten. But I digress.

Tonight, as usual, I enjoyed my dinner (a big fat bowl of Cranberry-Almond Crunch, I'm very fancy come dinnertime) on the sofa. I was sitting cross-legged. That may or may not have something to do with what happened when I decided to run fetch my computer off the desk. I [tried] to stand up, but I got my toe or my foot or something all tangled up in my pants, and I just pitched forward. All the way. Hard. I think I managed to break my fall a little by wildly grasping at the side of the sofa. It didn't stop me though, I just thudded and skidded right on down to the hardwood floor.

Big bruises in 3…2…1…

But the point here is this: Both times, both falls, I was wearing a pair of matte jersey gouchos from White House Black Market. And they didn't tear. If that's not quality, I don't know what is. Although, come to think of it, maybe the pants are just Satan.

Annoyance #too-many-to-count

People who use blinkers when they should have on their flashers.

Example: Husband-turned-taxi driver during the holidays who lets his wife out at the door of HomeGoods and then sits tight, right blinker on.

I don't know why, but it bugs. Don't be lazy, use both blinkers. It's not like it takes extra effort to turn on the hazards versus the blinker.

All I Want for Christmas...

Is for Stafford and Moreno to say NO to the NFL draft.

Okay, maybe that's not all I want for Christmas, but it's at the top of my [very long] list.

Scratching My Head

To put it mildly, I'm not really one to position myself in Auburn's corner. But, like me, I'm sure fans are going, "Huh?"

See for yourself.

This Never Stops Being Funny

Mary Elizabeth loaded this up and I just about wet my pants from laughing so hard. Click here. You're welcome.

Visit The Cherry Zebra Online

You asked, we delivered. Click here.

A Few of My Favorite Things #11

These sticker frames are so cool. I think I'd like to put them on the wall above my bed and hang plates inside them.

Aaaaand More Updates

Leah volunteered Handyman Heinz to do some, well, handiwork around the condo Monday night. He hung two chandeliers and a curtain rod, changed the hallway lightbulb, and promised to come back when I have another list ready. Thanks, Heinz!




I also got the party table and chairs in from Ballard today. I unrolled the fabric so you can see what the tablecloth will look like too. I think I'm going to get this burlap tablecloth and then have a shorter one made from the floral fabric. I'm proud of my budget dining room table + dress-up idea.

To Quote Carrie, "This is just a dream." Right?

Eco-friendly bra doubles as shopping bag. You know you want one. Many thanks to Katie C. for sharing this holiday must-have.

My only question is, if you're out to dinner and on the way home you realize you need to stop for groceries, do you just disrobe right there in the check-out line so you can cart home your milk and eggs without destroying the environment?

Holiday Gift Show

If you live in Birmingham and want to attend, shoot me an email and I'll send you the address. Everyone is welcome!

Check your lists, and check them twice, then come over to my place for a holiday gift show this Sunday! My mom and sister will be here with appliqued children's clothes (Christmas and everyday), aprons, monogrammed gifts, Christmas ornaments, pajamas, tea towels, bath wraps, and more cute stuff than you can imagine. Bring friends, moms, mother-in-laws, neighbors, whoever. I promise great gifts for everyone on your list, probably something for yourself too, and snacks! See you this weekend.

Uhhh, Tack-Y!

Lordamercy. Kathie Lee Gifford is sporting a scrunchie on the Today show this a.m. Not only has she pulled up that head of hair into the most offensive hair ornament ever, but she went with a high ponytail too. A loose one. As in "I'm just running out the door to catch an aerobics class with Olivia Newton-John and Jane Fonda" high, loose, scrunchie-secured ponytail. And she knows it was a mistake, cause she made reference to "pulling her hair up in a scrunchie and just forgetting it" when talking about appearing next to Heidi Klum and Molly Sims this morning. I wish I could find a photo, because it's priceless. Pricelessly bad.

On another note, I have a fierce girl crush on Kristin Chenoweth.

Permission to Dress Like a Hooker

Got your attention? I discovered Eye Kandy a couple of weeks ago, and despite the company's use of a "K" to deliberately misspell "candy," I'm in love. Some girls were giving free demos at the Junior League Market, and the timing could not have been more perfect. I got one of the edgier girls to makeover my eyes the day of the Harry Potter party. I told her to really go gaudy with the lime green, and it was a fantastic look for Rita Skeeter! I will say, though, that the more subtle look was quite lovely and not hookerish at all. Try it!

Long-Awaited Harry Potter Party Photos!

Check Leah's blog for more. It was a fabulous, fabulous party.

More Decorating Updates

I took these photos last week and am just now getting around to posting them. Things are coming along, slowly but surely.

I put this desk together all by myself. Impressed? Yes, you should be. I haven't hung the picture up yet, but you get the idea. Sorry it's so dark, but the flash was putting a big light over Uga. There is a chair on the way from Ballard.


Here's the new ottoman/coffee table and matching pillows. My dad and sister helped hang the mirror, and I hung the plates myself. Not sure if they're properly spaced. There's a 2-inch foam top beneath the slipcover, which makes the table pretty high. At first I was teary and upset because I thought it was too tall, but now I've decided that I dig it. You can see I'm working on the Christmas decorations too.


New lamp amidst the mess...


And a close-up. The shade isn't nearly so white as it looks here.

Slight Glitch

My apologies to all gift club members, but the first shipment will be toward the end of the week instead of today. There was a problem with the ribbon that I needed to finish up the first gifts, and I can't get any till Wednesday. I'm SO sorry, but everything else is all ready, and as soon as the ribbon arrives, the packages will go in the mail. Thanks for your patience.

A Few of My Favorite Things #10

These Slate Gray Chalkboard Wallies are pretty cool. Because I'm lazy, here's the spill from Paper Source.

We think these 9"x12" slate gray chalkboard panels are brilliant! Use inside a kitchen cupboard, a kid's locker, on the fridge, or even right on the wall. The panels are repositionable, removable, and won't harm most wall coverings. Chalk is included so you can start writing your notes and doodles wherever you choose! Includes four panels. ($19.95 for a pack of 4)

The chalk markers are fun too.

On Holiday

Enjoy the post-Thanksgiving redesign while I enjoy a little post-Thanksgiving shopping in Nashville with the fam. See you on Monday!

P.S.: I did NOT door-bust Kohl's at 4 a.m. Did anyone else?

A Few of My Favorite Things #9

Beautiful baubles from Kate Spade. I covet one of these shiny bracelets but Santa's will have to reach deep in his pockets for one (as for all things Kate Spade). A girl can dream.

A Few of My Favorite Things #8

Mah friends. If these don't make you want to throw together a tiny-food party, well then I don't know what will. It is necessary that I own a collection of these fab little plates. Oh, the to-die-for factor is off the charts here. Order here, now.

Perhaps You Didn't Hear Me

I don't understand why some drive-thru employees [I'm talking to you, Wildwood Chick-fil-A] don't respond when I thank them for my food. It's not like they're too busy or not paying attention to me, and it happens often.

I pull up, hand over my money, and...silence. Receive my change/card, receipt, and...silence. Food hand-off, I reply with a thank you, and...silence. I mean, come on, now. That's just rude. I know you heard me, saw my lips moving, and alls I get is a blank stare.

Dude, I'm sorry that you have to be working the drive-thru and all, but that's not my fault. In fact, it might not be long before I join you, although Publix is my first stop. All I ask for is a smile with my extra pickles. It's not hard. I even went first, just acknowledge my friendliness.

I guess what I don't get is that it's not in my nature to just ignore someone who speaks to me, especially if that person is being gracious towards me. And trust me, I am always gracious at the CFA window.

Coming Soon to a Mailbox Near You

Are you getting excited? First gift for club members ships December 1! I hope y'all are as pumped as I am! Thanks to everyone who is participating! I am thrilled with the response and am keeping my fingers crossed for total satisfaction. Remember to direct any complaints to my assistant.

A Few of My Favorite Things #7

Dang adorable, these are, especially for all of us (myself totally included) bookish types. Bookworm Bookmarks only $7 for a pack of 20 (5 of each design). My favorite? "Unputdownable." Get them here, and pick up a pack for me too. I mean, it's only fair. I told you about them.

For All You Crazy Kids

Have you seen this? The mini Guitar Hero? Only $22. I love that you can "strum on the run." Katie, it's calling your name.

A Few of My Favorite Things #6

Love these. Love, love, love them. So cute, totally affordable. Flowers in a Can from Fred Flare.

Calling Volunteers

I need someone to host a bonfire in their backyard. I think most of you know why. It's almost time. I've been through just about everything. I'll provide the hot dogs and s'mores ingredients for afterwards.

Please Don't Eat the Apples

This weekend was The Market, which is my Junior League placement. I was in charge of stage events. On Thursday I was there to coordinate Neal Hunter Hyde's performance (He is awesome, btw), and as I sat in the audience, I observed a man walk over to one of the tables with his laptop. Maybe he had a booth at the show, I don't know. But he sat down, opened up his computer, glanced around, and then grabbed an apple.

The apple that was sitting atop a wire-and-metal vase in the center of the table.

Because it was a part of the centerpiece.

And then, with another glance around, he bit right into that apple. Over and over again. Till it was nothing but a core. Seriously. This man sat down and ate the centerpiece.

I still can't believe it.

A Few of My Favorite Things #5

I don't think anyone thought I'd leave out the 2009 Kate Spade Desk Calendar.

Who's With Me?

The Killers have announced tour dates. I will not miss out due to someone else's schedule like I had to last year. Two options: January 30 in Atlanta or January 31 in Nashville. I'm not picky. But I know I can't count on two of my closest friends...haters.

A Few of My Favorite Things #4

Cute, cute pajamas [pa-jah-mas for my Yankee readers]. I need some for Sara's birthday slumber party next month, and I love all of these. A little pricey, yes, but I never said my favorite things were budget-minded. I mean, I'm not :) Besides, everyone needs one good pair of fancy pjs. You know, for when company comes.

Pine Cone Hill Kimono White Flannel Pajamas



Bedhead Red Poppy Mandarin Hipster Pajamas (also available in pink)


Bedhead Pink Tulips Voile Cotton Pajamas


This site, Sleepy Heads, also has couples pajamas. Lame? Please. I can think of nothing more adorable. And if a man is willing to wear matching sleepwear, that's how you know he's a keeper. Duh.

And, just for fun, these are totally awesome. It was hard to pick a favorite. Tons more by Cicciabella here. I would totally wear these to The Pig to pick up milk. They're more fabulous than my Uggs. Yeah. I still wear them.

Cicciabella Cowgirl Buckaroos Chocolate Brown & Hot Pink Slipper Boots



The site is offering free shipping with a $75 purchase + a free robe with a $150 purchase. They also offer a PJ Perks Club. I'll be joining.

A Few of My Favorite Things #3

This Nap Sac Travel Blanket and pillow in one. I used this on my flight to California in August, and it's awesome. (Of course, mine is pink.) The zipper pack turns into a pillow. You just blow up the inflatable pillow and zip into the pouch. The blanket has a pocket to hold your iPod. If you travel, you need this!

This Bugs

On the radio this morning, a car dealership manager came on during a commercial and announced that he "personally" called in to tell us listeners about his sale.

This is annoying.

I hate it when people say they "personally" did something. It's as if ordinarily they find themselves too good for something, so by their personally doing something, we little people should be impressed. Hey, Mr. Car Dealership Manager, you are no better than me! In fact, your business is your livelihood. You should be personally calling in. Same goes for celebs. Come on now. How would you feel if I sent you an invite to a party at my house and said that I, personally, would be preparing the food and hosting the party? See? Annoying!

More Ornament Exposure!

This time from the Snapdragon. Gasp! Your eyes aren't deceiving you. I made an Auburn ornament. I can't believe it either.

A Few of My Favorite Things #2

Well, now, this Klip Kitchen Timer from The Container Store is just too cool. (They have the best stocking stuffers!) Unnecessarily fancy? Probably. But that's what a wish list is all about. I'll take it! (In red.)

My Girl Beyonce

You know how some people call me Beyonce? No? Well, they do. I guess it fits. We can both be rather fancy sometimes. Anyway, I love, love her new song, "If I Were a Boy." Man, I—er, she—can sing. You like?

A Few of My Favorite Things #1

It's that time again. Time to showcase some Christmas gift ideas that I love. Happy shopping!

That Laptop is Mine! from The Container Store. This accessory has a sleeve to hold a business card, a pocket to store a notepad or calculator, and a pen holder. It comes in pink, green, or brown. Love this.

Check Me Out!

Those are my ornaments in this ad. See 'em? Right there on the tree. Woot, woot!

Where Hast Thou Gone, oh Wit, Humor?

Some readers have expressed concern that this blog is becoming a site for my home-decorating projects.

Oh, just kidding. No one has. But I'd just like to clarify that the charming dialogue which endears me to all of you will resurface. It's just that there hasn't been much chance to run over nuns or catch a nude beach scene here lately, what with all the manual labor going on.

Moving Day

I can't believe it. My brother came to town to help me move a few things, and when I got off work Tuesday, he, Laurie, and Kate had moved nearly everything in. Even the really heavy stuff—washer, dryer, armoire, buffet. THANK YOU!

And now, I have a lot of work to do. Am I finished painting, you ask? Why no. No I'm not.


I was in such a daze when we packed up back in June that I'd forgotten my sister was doing everything she could to make me smile. I do remember that her box labels were hysterically funny to both of us. Even our mom, who would normally STILL swat our behinds for using vulgar language, laughed.



Yeah, I'm not planning to cook for awhile.


My brother and Kate made a pit stop at Wal-Mart. I came home to all this loot + a Bed, Bath & Beyond gift card. Shucks. My family rocks!

Love? Hate? Love to Hate?

I don't know. She's been looking good recently.

Happy

It's a good feeling when $20 puts you just over half a tank. It's been a long time.

Don't Forget

I am accepting memberships for the gift club through Saturday. If you want to join and haven't yet mailed your check, don't worry. Just email me so I know to count you in. You don't want to miss out!

Condo Updates

Laurie came to town and we got some work done this weekend.

We—okay, mostly she—recovered these cornice boards that were left behind. You can see the partially painted blue walls behind this one. I love the color.


She also primed a red wall while I painted the blue room. I made fun of her short strokes.


We also finished painting Pear Green behind the flatware silhouettes on this wall so the brighter color would show behind them. Then we hung up the silhouettes.


And the hand towel curtains in the kitchen. I was trying to choose between two options from Anthropologie, and my sister liked them both together. I do too. It's fun! Haven't painted the walls just yet.