Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I've lost my creative juices. No clever title. But. I'm watching the midday news, and the anchorwoman just announced that a man drove his car into the side of a house. She said, "The driver was not injured but he may be in trouble with the law. The car was stolen."


Sunday, December 21, 2008

What do you do with baby Jesus?

Does he stay in the Nativity during the entire holiday season, or do you only add him on December 25th?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Step Away From the Car!

It makes me giggle when car owners outfit their jalopies with high-tech alarm systems. Because, I mean, why? You know what I'm sayin'? Today I saw someone amble up to their 1980 not-souped-up Trans Am, click the car remote and disarm the alarm with a beep-beep, and climb in. It wasn't even red. And then I thought, "Duh. This dude has it all wrong. He should deactivate the alarm, park it on a shady street, and leave the doors unlocked." It's the perfect solution! Cash the insurance check, and head on down to CarMax for a used Accord.

Total side note: Remember, back in high school for me, when it was the thing to have that stupid car alarm that played through five rounds of sounds? And it wouldn't stop till it played all the way through? The emergency vehicle sound. The woo-woo, woo-woo sound. The wail. The blip, blip, blip, blip. And they were so sensitive. You couldn't brush past a car without setting off that thing. My boyfriend had one. On his turquoise truck. I thought it was tres cool.

High Rollin'

I think you've reached a certain tier of awesomeness when Bill Gates deems you worthy of his fortune. I bet he cheered for the Dawgs this season too.

See it here.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Bad Dreams, Scary Dreams, Ca-ra-zee Dreams

So. I've told y'all before that I take The Ambien on occasion to combat the copious amounts of coffee that I drink.

Well, that's not really why. I take The Ambien because sometimes The Crazy gets ahold of my brain and I can't sleep.

But blaming it on coffee sounds better and, well, less crazy.

The Ambien gives me weird dreams though, kind of like when you eat Chinese food too late at night. Examples from the other night.

1. I dreamed that I was complaining to someone that my roots were a little orange, and I was bummed because my hairstylist, Tavia, usually does such an awesome job. This person said, "Well, you can't ever be sure with her because you know she's on the coke." I mean, this was terrifying. It took me a long time to find someone to do my hair here, and I love Tavia! But I was all freaked out because she was a druggie, and in my dream I was way stressed out because I knew I had to leave her. I couldn't trust someone who snorted coke to do my hair!

2. My apologies, Amy, but I dreamed that you, Jacob, Kate, and your little infant baby came to spend the night with me for some reason. Only we all forgot the baby. She stayed in the car all night long, and no one realized it till we got ready to leave the next day, and you opened my car door and started screaming hysterically, "My baby! My baby!" And I was all, she's fine, really, cause it stayed pretty cool last night. (It was summertime.) Incidentally, the baby was fine.

3. I dreamed that one of my friends, who recently gave birth, was pregnant again.

Thank GOD I finally woke up. Tonight I just popped a couple of Simply Sleep.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Yeah, I'm Gonna Go There

I'm not going to go all political or super controversial on y'all, but yesterday I saw something that really bothered me. Bad.

Okay, so I probably am going to get a little controversial. I hope you'll still read the blog. I'm just giving my opinion.

It was a bumper sticker that said, "6 Billion Miracles Is Enough." Right next to a stork delivering a baby, lest you not get the message.

I am—unapologetically—pro-life. I do not believe abortion is a women's rights issue. Okay? I said it. I believe it's a moral issue, a baby issue, a human being issue. And that is my opinion. But. Even if you disagree with me—and I know I have friends and probably other readers who will—I think, perhaps, that we can all agree this bumper sticker was outrageous. It represents a flippant and disgusting attitude toward something that is so serious.

The underlying message, to me, that "6 billion" babies is enough is that it's okay to use abortion as a means of population control. We have enough children in this country, so knocking off a few won't hurt anything. And everything else aside, that is an incredibly weak—and crass—argument, no matter your stance on the issue. I just can't get past the sarcasm and casualness of it all.

And I'll go on ahead right now and go on record as saying that I don't care how many babies you want to have. I believe you should be able to have them. You want none? Fine. Just one or two? Cool. And if you, like me, would like enough to have your own soccer team, that is perfectly okay too. And, despite the fact that I spent 12 years traveling to my brother's soccer games, I'm not even sure how many children that would be *exactly*. But I'm okay with that, I just know I want a bunch. I actually had someone say to me once that, with the population growing at an "alarming" rate, that it was "irresponsible" of people to have more than one or two children. And as I researched this bumper sticker, I came across a message board where someone said that "in this day and time of global warming, having kids is one of the most selfish things a person can do." Excuse me? No.

So, that's my soapbox, my rant. I'm done. No need to have any kind of throwdown in the comments section. I know this is touchy. I know people have very. strong. feelings. about this. I just couldn't not say something. And I think my biggest problem of all is that in one breath people are demanding that their right to choose not be compromised, and in the next breath these same folks are trying to tell others how many babies they should be allowed to have. Sorry, doesn't work for me.

Enjoy a Laugh at My Expense

I'm not sure if I told y'all about my spill down some stairs at a local restaurant back in October. It was after a celebratory dinner in honor of my brother's graduation. Anyway, if you work with me, you know about it, because we had to work the Saturday after this happened on Friday night, and I hobbled in to work with various bruises decorating my legs and feet.

See? Funny.

Also I said a little tiny cuss word when I fell. It just came out. And my mama gave me a pass. Probably because she thought I was dead anyway.

But dead I was not. I was wounded, though, boy was I wounded. It took my brother and my dad to lift my limp self up off the ground. Course that coulda been the steak and potato with extra sour cream I'd just eaten. But I digress.

Tonight, as usual, I enjoyed my dinner (a big fat bowl of Cranberry-Almond Crunch, I'm very fancy come dinnertime) on the sofa. I was sitting cross-legged. That may or may not have something to do with what happened when I decided to run fetch my computer off the desk. I [tried] to stand up, but I got my toe or my foot or something all tangled up in my pants, and I just pitched forward. All the way. Hard. I think I managed to break my fall a little by wildly grasping at the side of the sofa. It didn't stop me though, I just thudded and skidded right on down to the hardwood floor.

Big bruises in 3…2…1…

But the point here is this: Both times, both falls, I was wearing a pair of matte jersey gouchos from White House Black Market. And they didn't tear. If that's not quality, I don't know what is. Although, come to think of it, maybe the pants are just Satan.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Annoyance #too-many-to-count

People who use blinkers when they should have on their flashers.

Example: Husband-turned-taxi driver during the holidays who lets his wife out at the door of HomeGoods and then sits tight, right blinker on.

I don't know why, but it bugs. Don't be lazy, use both blinkers. It's not like it takes extra effort to turn on the hazards versus the blinker.

All I Want for Christmas...

Is for Stafford and Moreno to say NO to the NFL draft.

Okay, maybe that's not all I want for Christmas, but it's at the top of my [very long] list.

Scratching My Head

To put it mildly, I'm not really one to position myself in Auburn's corner. But, like me, I'm sure fans are going, "Huh?"

See for yourself.

Monday, December 8, 2008

This Never Stops Being Funny

Mary Elizabeth loaded this up and I just about wet my pants from laughing so hard. Click here. You're welcome.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Visit The Cherry Zebra Online

You asked, we delivered. Click here.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

A Few of My Favorite Things #11

These sticker frames are so cool. I think I'd like to put them on the wall above my bed and hang plates inside them.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Aaaaand More Updates

Leah volunteered Handyman Heinz to do some, well, handiwork around the condo Monday night. He hung two chandeliers and a curtain rod, changed the hallway lightbulb, and promised to come back when I have another list ready. Thanks, Heinz!

I also got the party table and chairs in from Ballard today. I unrolled the fabric so you can see what the tablecloth will look like too. I think I'm going to get this burlap tablecloth and then have a shorter one made from the floral fabric. I'm proud of my budget dining room table + dress-up idea.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

To Quote Carrie, "This is just a dream." Right?

Eco-friendly bra doubles as shopping bag. You know you want one. Many thanks to Katie C. for sharing this holiday must-have.

My only question is, if you're out to dinner and on the way home you realize you need to stop for groceries, do you just disrobe right there in the check-out line so you can cart home your milk and eggs without destroying the environment?

Holiday Gift Show

If you live in Birmingham and want to attend, shoot me an email and I'll send you the address. Everyone is welcome!

Check your lists, and check them twice, then come over to my place for a holiday gift show this Sunday! My mom and sister will be here with appliqued children's clothes (Christmas and everyday), aprons, monogrammed gifts, Christmas ornaments, pajamas, tea towels, bath wraps, and more cute stuff than you can imagine. Bring friends, moms, mother-in-laws, neighbors, whoever. I promise great gifts for everyone on your list, probably something for yourself too, and snacks! See you this weekend.

Uhhh, Tack-Y!

Lordamercy. Kathie Lee Gifford is sporting a scrunchie on the Today show this a.m. Not only has she pulled up that head of hair into the most offensive hair ornament ever, but she went with a high ponytail too. A loose one. As in "I'm just running out the door to catch an aerobics class with Olivia Newton-John and Jane Fonda" high, loose, scrunchie-secured ponytail. And she knows it was a mistake, cause she made reference to "pulling her hair up in a scrunchie and just forgetting it" when talking about appearing next to Heidi Klum and Molly Sims this morning. I wish I could find a photo, because it's priceless. Pricelessly bad.

On another note, I have a fierce girl crush on Kristin Chenoweth.

Permission to Dress Like a Hooker

Got your attention? I discovered Eye Kandy a couple of weeks ago, and despite the company's use of a "K" to deliberately misspell "candy," I'm in love. Some girls were giving free demos at the Junior League Market, and the timing could not have been more perfect. I got one of the edgier girls to makeover my eyes the day of the Harry Potter party. I told her to really go gaudy with the lime green, and it was a fantastic look for Rita Skeeter! I will say, though, that the more subtle look was quite lovely and not hookerish at all. Try it!

Long-Awaited Harry Potter Party Photos!

Check Leah's blog for more. It was a fabulous, fabulous party.

More Decorating Updates

I took these photos last week and am just now getting around to posting them. Things are coming along, slowly but surely.

I put this desk together all by myself. Impressed? Yes, you should be. I haven't hung the picture up yet, but you get the idea. Sorry it's so dark, but the flash was putting a big light over Uga. There is a chair on the way from Ballard.

Here's the new ottoman/coffee table and matching pillows. My dad and sister helped hang the mirror, and I hung the plates myself. Not sure if they're properly spaced. There's a 2-inch foam top beneath the slipcover, which makes the table pretty high. At first I was teary and upset because I thought it was too tall, but now I've decided that I dig it. You can see I'm working on the Christmas decorations too.

New lamp amidst the mess...

And a close-up. The shade isn't nearly so white as it looks here.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Slight Glitch

My apologies to all gift club members, but the first shipment will be toward the end of the week instead of today. There was a problem with the ribbon that I needed to finish up the first gifts, and I can't get any till Wednesday. I'm SO sorry, but everything else is all ready, and as soon as the ribbon arrives, the packages will go in the mail. Thanks for your patience.

A Few of My Favorite Things #10

These Slate Gray Chalkboard Wallies are pretty cool. Because I'm lazy, here's the spill from Paper Source.

We think these 9"x12" slate gray chalkboard panels are brilliant! Use inside a kitchen cupboard, a kid's locker, on the fridge, or even right on the wall. The panels are repositionable, removable, and won't harm most wall coverings. Chalk is included so you can start writing your notes and doodles wherever you choose! Includes four panels. ($19.95 for a pack of 4)

The chalk markers are fun too.