Wednesday, February 3, 2010

This is just stupid.

Now, come on.

Gisele Bündchen can not seriously think anyone believes her, right? Right? I know lots and lots of women who have given birth, and one man too.

Just want to make sure y'all are alert this morning.

Someone did tell me once that giving birth was like a "really bad bowel movement," which is disgusting and, I theorize, a dirty rotten lie. Fairly certain this woman was smoking the crack. Probably during labor.

Anyway, out of all these mothers not even one has ever told me that giving birth—without much medication—wasn't painful. That is asinine.

Also what these women did not tell me? That every painful contraction just made them focus on how much closer the baby was. Unless it counts that most of them just wanted that baby OUT! so it would quit murdering their insides.

I can't really offer an argument based on personal experience (except for that friggin' never-ending kidney stone debacle) given that the Almighty has so wisely left me childless thus far, but I feel pretty safe betting that my friends will all agree with me here.

So shutty, Gisele.

Note: Nobody better expect me to be up washing dishes and making pancakes the day after a human comes out of me. Nah-uh. And I'm willing to bet fried batter covered in sugary syrup has never crossed that woman's lips.


The Bakers said...

Having birthed two babies with no pain medication (not by my own choice), I can assure you that in my experience it hurts more than the worst pain you ever had before and will ever have after. Migraines? Menstrual cramps? Finger smashed in the door? All three at once would be like a day at the spa. However, I have heard other women say they "concentrated" through the pain and had a peaceful delivery. Come to think of it, it's mostly celebrities that say stuff like that. Perhaps they concentrate on their bank accounts.

Eric, Marilyn, and Elliott said...

I almost vomited when I read this. It's like she woke up and thought "What ridiculous thing can I say to make sure the 4 women who don't yet hate me change their minds?" BTW, she's a filthy, stinkin' liar and anyone who has given birth will back me up. I went without pain meds for a long time during delivery, but believe you me, it was not due to a lack of pain. (Sorry for the rant. Gisele's done pissed me off.)

Stephanie said...

I knew this would touch a nerve with my friends, and also further the (probably true) stereotype that models are stupid.