Listen up, Mother Nature

I am not a fan of this weather. Oh, I think the first whiff of spring after a particularly Antarctica-like January is divine, but then? Let’s get back to the business of winter. I don't like to sweat in December. Or January or February or the first three weeks of March. I like wearing tall boots and tights and leggings-not-as-pants (although I broke that rule 1 or 27 times recently) and sweaters. I enjoy my straight, frizz-free hair and the lack of humidity. Heck, I'll even take the dry skin. I have plenty of lotion in the cabinet. I'm not looking for snow and ice and everything not nice or anything, but 68°? 75°? No, thanks. I don't know how to dress for that, and that's my big gripe here.



Look good, feel good, ya know?

I should be ducking, I'm sure, from the eggs my silly little warm-weather-loving friends are throwing, but here's my secret: I stay up half the night most days, and while you're all tucked in and sweet dreaming, I'm doing the 20° dance around my apartment, hoping to counteract all of your weird I-love-mild-temperatures-in-winter vibes. Sometimes I throw a bikini into my bonfire and hula around it as a little sacrifice to the climate gods—and it is too dang hot for a bonfire right now. Brace yourselves for a mid-March cold snap. It's coming.