Friday funnies

Two of my current favorite t-shirts. Should I be cracking up this much? Nevermind, don't tell me. The belly laugh feels good.

Just try not to laugh

Oh. Fancy me.

May I toot my own horn for a minute? (Don't you think that's just the cheesiest expression? No? Just me? Guess I'm 12.)

Anyway, while working on a new project to (hopefully) be unveiled at a sooner-rather-than-later time, I was Googling "plates on the wall" and ran across a familiar photo. The link beneath the photo took me to Apartment Therapy, which I love. And imagine my surprise when I saw that the good folks at AT had chosen a story I wrote for The Magazine to link in their blog. Woot!

Here 'tis. (Mine's the blue-and-white bathroom, shot in my favorite Texas town, McKinney.)

Toot, toot. (Sorry. Couldn't help myself.)

Highlight of my Friday night

Don't you wish this was your job?

Bust a move

I know you've all seen the recent deluge of coordinated wedding dances on YouTube. I even posted one here. They're funny, for sure. But for me, nothing will ever top the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Robert and Amy get married and break it down to an Elvis song.



Side note: I hate Everybody Loves Raymond. I used to watch it some but the longer I watched, the meaner everyone got—to the point that watching the show just made me sad. Poor Raymond. Debra was, like, the most evil wife ever. EVER!

Anyway.

I laughed out loud the first time I saw this, and the other night I happened to catch the rerun. I am SO doing this. Now accepting old-school song and dance move suggestions. (I'm counting on a little Roger Rabbit action.) I guess I'll be up-front with my next boyfriend, too, just in case he tries to play the "I'm not a dancer" card. (Guys who don't—or won't—dance really aggravate me, p.s.) Or wait. Will mentioning our future wedding reception dance be a bit awkward for first-date convo? Please advise.

Adult toys

Get your minds out of the gutter. This post is rated G. For Genius.

Let's back up. Some time ago I placed an order through a friend's child for his school fundraiser. I opted for a roll of super-cute, preppy pink-and-green plaid wrapping paper and a kitchen tool. (More later.) That was back in … September? No clue. Purchase forgotten.

So, last week I stayed with my friend Mindy while her husband was out of town. After she put the kids to bed, we got ready for an adults-only dinner. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Chardonnay with gossip for dessert. When Mindy started making our sandwiches, she pulled out this nifty little peanut butter and jelly spatula. It is such a brilliant invention. Genius even. (See? See how I circled back around to my intro?) And then I remembered.

I totally bought one. That is the kitchen tool I ordered. And today, when I got to work, there it was waiting on my desk. I couldn't wait to get home for lunch. One utensil that will allow me to make my lunchtime PB&J without getting peanut butter in my strawberry jelly? Don't you judge me. (Call me easily amused? Sure.) I totally pushed away the leftover Thai to get to the jelly jar in the fridge. Check this thing out. Color-coded and everything.



Sweet. I'm pleased to report that the spatula is just as awesome as I hoped it would be. And, this time, when I licked the peanut butter off, I didn't cut my tongue like I'm prone to do on the knife.

Today was a good day.

Mad costume skillz

Me with Andrew, who evidently had a mouthful of food when this was taken. Oops.

Oh, y'all.

Team UGA killed the costume competition for the UGA/Vandy game. Team UGA = my friend Jamie and me. There were phone calls. Texts. E-mails. Sketches (see below). Facebook exchanges. That's what you get when you combine a competitive dude and a dudette who loves a theme.

And in the end? So totally worth the effort. I gotta be honest, every piece of Andrew's costume was fantastic, but the crown jewel—for me—was the red-sequined chaps that we enlisted my mom to make. (Super huge thanks, Mom!) Wow. People stopped this man all over campus for photos. I take that as a sign of success. (Gotta give a big shout-out to Jamie for getting a Georgia jersey personalized. Awesome.) In addition there was:

1. Sunglasses with UGA holograms on each eye, a G and a bulldog
2. Matching tattoos beneath the glasses, a G on one cheek, bulldog on the other
3. Cowboy hat
4. UGA lei
5. UGA mock turtleneck beneath the jersey
6. Spirit beads and a pom-pom

Go here to see the entire presentation in photos.


Jamie's sweet sketch

Performance = Perfection

You all, of course, remember this.

So it's only fair that I deliver to you this:


I don't know what my favorite part is. Jamie demanding more noise from the crowd in the very beginning. Jamie playing air keyboard. Jamie shaking his groove thang at the camera. Jamie hitting the high note at the end. I've watched and watched and watched some more. I love this video. It makes me happy (and also really sad that Lonnie's closed its doors for good this very night). I now listen to "Take On Me" at least twice a day because it reminds me of this incredibly spectacular weekend we all had. Photos here if you're interested.

Feel free to leave praise and adoring comments for Jamie Jones. He loves that kind of thing. (Right, Jamie?)

(Thank you to Jen for loading her video on YouTube because mine didn't turn out.)

Baylor Gibson Hudlow is here!

And if you want to take food to Lynlee and Kyle, click here. They will be most appreciative!

Cleaning house

Y'all know that jewelry that I sell? Well, I'm ready to unload a few samples of pieces that are being discontinued. Pictures and prices below, $5 shipping (or I'll deliver to the Birmingham area), no tax. Leave a comment or email me if you're interested (sgmims at gmail dot com).


Necklace regular price $59, sale price $40


Charm regular price $34, sale price $23


Bracelet regular price $29, sale price $20


Earrings regular price $39, sale price $28


Necklace regular price $79, sale price $40 SOLD


Necklace regular price $49, sale price $35


Bracelet regular price $59, sale price $30; bracelet can be attached to above gold necklace for a different look (see photo below). If you want the necklace and the bracelet together you can have them for $60.




Green onyx necklace regular price $198, sale price $98 SOLD


Necklace regular price $59, sale price $42 PLEASE NOTE ACTUAL COLOR BELOW

Trivia

What musician is against bathing?

Hint: His popular new song is "Say Hey."

Give up?

It's Michael Franti.

True story. Heard it on the radio. Now I ask you. What possible issue, moral or otherwise, might one have with bathing? I don't see that it's harmful. Or particularly controversial. I think bathing is good.

I'm against lots of things: schools with orange in their team colors; feathered mullets; turquoise cars; men who wax their eyebrows; fruit-flavored water (except for lime Perrier); people who don't like monograms; and body odor.

Know how you get body odor? By not bathing. Can you even imagine how badly this man smells? Shudder.

More blogging material from Macy's

I ran in to Macy's tonight because I was looking for a different size in a shirt that I bought. I needed to try it on, so I headed for the dressing rooms, passing a grandmother and a toddler on my way in.

I was just about to take off my shirt when I looked down and saw the toddler on the floor, peeking under the door, waving "hey, hey, hey." Ha ha. Um, I wasn't sure what to do, so I just stood there and waved back. I wasn't about to start changing in front of some random 3-year-old. That seemed wrong. After about five seconds I heard the grandmother calling for the little girl. I wanted to yell back, "Uh, your grandchild's in here, peeping under dressing room doors like a 13-year-old pervert," but I refrained cause perhaps that was a little harsh.

P.S. The shirt didn't work out. I wish I could shop as easily as guys can.